she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
