I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'd cum for enchiladas.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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