i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
