I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This is my gift to your gina
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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