my mouth tastes like poor choices
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
