kristin has been a bad kristin
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
