Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's rum buckets o'clock
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
