all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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