Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
