I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
