I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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