just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
