You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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