He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
