No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she peed on how many people?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
