I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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