So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
