oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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