i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
