I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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