Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
