her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
