We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize