There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
