Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
