So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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