Whod you bang
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
