You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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