I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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