we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they're like a gay fantastic four
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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