I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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