3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
