they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
