I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Randomize
