He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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