Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
