My friends, they love my intelligence
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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