i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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