Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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