Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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