That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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