why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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