my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize