Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
