Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
