So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
