guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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