If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
