8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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