This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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