i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
