I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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