just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
