Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
