I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
