Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
