Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
