summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
