I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My bed smells like the plague
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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