I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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