she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
