I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
